I want to get into model r with my grandsons.  I intend to go ho.  I need to know what, I need to purchase.  I defy want to use EZ track, DCC on board and a controller.  I want to do this right.  What are the pieces of equipment do I need to power the locomotives, switches, etc.  The layout will be between 4xe to 4x 8.  I want to build realism into the layout with active accessories like I had as a child with my Lionel set.   All advice and suggestions are welcome.  Advice on books videos concern layout construction and easy wiring are welcomed.
Thank You
John Kohan

John, since you are starting from scratch and are new to the hobby but want to get into DCC and EZ Track, I would recommend purchasing one of Bachmann's DCC starter sets to "get your toes wet" so to speak. Having used DCC now for about 18-20 years, let me tell you getting deeper into DCC is definitely not for for the faint-of-heart. You can dig yourself quite a deep hole very quickly. That's why I would go with a starter set at first. It should get you up and running fairly quickly and you can add track and accessories to increase the size of your layout as you go along. Most Bachmann track and accessories with work just fine with both DC and DCC but there are a few exceptions, especially if you decide to delve deeper into DCC automation and/or programming. Keep in mind that a beginner's set is designed for novices and therefore is purposely limited in function and scope. Buying a couple of beginner's books for DCC and studying them is a great idea. It's how I got started many years ago. Hope this helps.

Nickel Silver First Railroad Track Pack (HO Scale)
A nicely designed starter layout, and the included "Building Your First Model Railroad" DVD is a 60-minute instructional guide perfect for beginners. It covers foundational layout skills, including table construction, track laying, wiring, and scenery building.
Building Your First Model Railroad" DVD Index:
1. Model railroad introduction with Michael Gross
2. Model railroad benchwork train table Part 1
3. Model railroad benchwork train table Part 2
4. Model railroad track
5. Model railroad control power pack
6. Model railroad buildings and structures
7. Model railroad scenery Part 1
8. Model railroad scenery Part 2
Model railroad conclusion with Michael Gross
https://shop.bachmanntrains.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=258_366_367&products_id=2494

DCC Sound Value Train Sets
https://shop.bachmanntrains.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=258_269_620

Resources
Getting Started
https://shop.bachmanntrains.com/index.php?main_page=getting_started

DCC
https://shop.bachmanntrains.com/documents/E-ZCommandinstructions.updated.pdf